Family: An Individual Culture

 Each family has a different culture. You know I like definitions, so we're going to go ahead and define culture. Culture: "the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively," or, "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." In terms of biology, a culture is "the cultivation of bacteria, tissue cells, etc. in an artificial medium containing nutrients" (Oxford Languages). As you can probably guess, family culture isn't anything like one in biology--at least I hope not.

The culture of a family is very similar to or practically the same as the second definition I shared. "The customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." When you first think about it, you may wonder how a single family can have all of that. But yes, a family does have all of that--unique customs and social institutions especially. A custom is "a traditional and widely accepted way of behaving or doing something that is specific to a particular society, place, or time" (Oxford Languages). Social institutions are "mechanisms or patterns of social order focused on meeting social needs, such as government, economy, education, family, healthcare, and religion" (Lumen Learning).

What are some examples? Perhaps the following: rules on what is acceptable in public, what is appropriate inside and outside of the home, what kind of language is tolerated, if you lock the door when you go to the bathroom, who takes out the garbage, etc. I have a story regarding the last example.

It was my first semester of college: eight girls, one apartment, one kitchen, one garbage can. When I say that thing filled fast, I mean fast. I'm talking about taking out the trash every day or two. Generally, we took turns taking care of it--or maybe it was whoever topped it off or noticed the lid wouldn't close all the way. As we all sat around the island talking and eating our own meals, one of the girls threw a pasta box away and commented on how full the garbage was. The rest of us exchanged looks, before someone piped up, "Why don't you take it out?"

"That's the man's job," she replied--which was quite funny because the only man in the room was her boyfriend who ended up taking it out. After a bit of confusion, she explained that in her family's house, the girls never take out the garbage. It was just something her dad or brothers were supposed to do.

I've thought about that a lot. In my family's house, whoever noticed that the trash needed to be taken out was the person who did it. I'll admit, sometimes it would get to the point where no one would want to take it out and Dad would have to tell one of us kids to. But still, isn't it interesting how family cultures can differ just in terms of simple household chores?

Of course, there are hundreds of ways a family culture can contrast with another. Dan may go to Bill's house and think it's weird that his parents hold hands on the couch when his own parents don't do anything of the sort in front of him and his siblings. Sally may get frustrated with her husband for locking the bathroom door because, at her parents' house, locked doors weren't allowed. Lillian may be shocked that Ronnie's family says a prayer before each meal, even though her family is religious as well. Kylie might become jealous when she finds out her aunt and uncle are okay with her cousin basically flunking high school, all while her parents demand she receives straight A's.

Do you see the point I'm trying to make? Each family is different. As we part ways, I want you to think about something. You may have your own family by now, or maybe you don't even have a significant other, yet. Remember that each family has their own ideas of acceptable behavior. And most of all, remember that one day, you'll have created your own family culture. But, will it be a good one?

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Thanks for reading!

-Katie