Can Affairs Actually Be Prevented?

Affairs--the elephant in the metaphorical room of relationships, particularly marriage. An affair is defined as "a sexual relationship between two people, one or both of whom are married to someone else" (Oxford Languages). One does not accidentally find themselves stuck in one; they're sought after.

Why would someone participate in an affair, knowing they are risking the most important commitment, sacred covenant, and eternal partnership that they dedicated themselves to, as well as breaking one of the most important commandments given by God? (God gave man ten commandments. The seventh out of those ten is to not commit adultery.)

People have affairs when they feel as though their spouse is not fulfilling their needs and wants, whether those have to do with emotional or physical intimacy. Rather than choosing to be patient and work things out, they turn to an adulterous decision.

According to research, forty percent of unmarried relationships and twenty-five percent of marriages experience at least one infidelity. Seventy percent of all Americans participate in some type of affair while married. It's extremely sad to say that cheating in a relationship is now considered normal or perhaps just one of the many trials that must be endured in one.

Seeing that women develop attachments to their romantic partners much sooner than men do, it makes sense that men are more likely to participate in affairs than their female counterparts are. The General Social Survey did a study and, after interviewing several men and women, found that roughly twenty percent of men and thirteen percent of women have had sex with someone other than their spouse at least once while married. And interestingly enough, the same study found, the amount of women participating in affairs has increased by forty percent in the past couple decades, all while the percentage of males has remained constant. And notably, none of these studies had taken online infidelities into account (Infidelity Statistics). I can't even begin to imagine the statistics.

But now the question I really want to ask: can affairs actually be prevented? Personally, I believe that this sin will only be absent when an unbreaking commitment to being faithful is present from the very beginning. And even then, that is not prevention. I'm sure many people plan on being faithful to their partner, but if they participate in an affair, it is proven that they were never wholly committed to their marriage from the very beginning. Adultery is committed mentally long before it is committed physically. Over time, what commitment they do have starts to wear down when they feel as though their needs are not being met and think their spouse or significant other is "not enough". So... no. Affairs cannot be prevented. The idea is buried in the hearts of those that participate in them, and those people get to decide whether they act on that desire or not.

I firmly believe that every person on this earth is a beloved child of God with a divine potential and purpose. Every person is more than enough. It breaks my heart to see the sickening effects on someone's mental health when the person they love more than anything and chose to remain committed to hardens their heart and turns to adulterous ways of fulfilling their needs. Imagine it: your significant other, whom you love, has an affair. The emotional toll would be unbearable. Feelings of worthlessness and unworthiness would begin to creep in. "If I am not enough for him/her, I'm not enough for anyone. I am not worthy of love." My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced or is currently experiencing these feelings.

As I mentioned earlier, affairs cannot be prevented, because adultery is committed mentally long before it is physically.