How Many Dates Have You Actually Been On?

Imagine this. You're at a pep rally before the homecoming football game. With the band playing loudly in the background, you and your best friend are talking with two boys from the senior class. One of the boys, you have so much in common with him and he can't stop smiling at you. When the night comes to an end and everyone starts heading to their cars, he comes up to you and says he would love to go out sometime. He asks if he can call you tomorrow night. He calls a few times a week to ask about your day and see what your weekend plans are. The two of you go on several dates--he even brings you flowers every Sunday and walks you home from church. You've shared milkshakes at the diner, screamed at the top of your lungs on rollercoasters, rolled down the side of a hill to see who could make it down fastest, held hands at the movie theatre, painted portraits of each other, and petted stingrays at the aquarium. After a month, the two of you decide to date exclusively and not see any other people. Things are good. Things are fun. Eventually, courtship turns into engagement, and engagement turns into marriage. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Now I want to ask you a question. How many dates have you actually been on? Emphasis on actually. The paragraph I just had you read, that may have been a realistic story fifteen, twenty years ago, but how about today? Those examples were real, planned dates. As always, I like to define the words I use. Date, noun: a social or romantic appointment or engagement. Date, verb: go out with someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested (Oxford Languages). Nowadays, people don't really date anymore--they hang out and hook up. Newsflash to the people only going over to watch movies as a group, that's not a date. You may disagree, but in order for something to be considered a date, it needs to meet some specifications.

The 3 Ps: planned, paid for, and paired off. Makes sense, right? Planned. Two of you don't get together and say "What do you want to do?" Plan something fun! Paid for. Not all dates have to be expensive. A date can be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and eating them on the pier or can be going to the penny arcade. Paired off. You have a designated person with which you are on the date. If you're on a group date, there shouldn't be any confusion as to which girl is with which boy.

Now you should have a fairly decent idea of what can actually be classified as an official date. But how do you get a date? To be honest, I could use some advice, too. Your girl has only been on three dates in the past year. Nothing can guarantee you'll get asked out by that hot girl or guy you've got your eye on, but here are some ideas.

Probably the easiest way to snag a free meal (depending on who's paying) is to strike up a conversation with someone and find things you have in common. You both enjoy playing and watching volleyball? Invite them to go to the intramural championship game with you. You both dig Indie music? Find a nearby concert and snag some tickets for you both. The key to a second date? Don't be boring. That may be a little harsh, but how are they supposed to want to keep seeing you if they think you aren't interested? Let them know you care and let them know how awesome you are! Spend time together and actually talk.

As we part ways, I challenge you to think of more ways you can go on an actual date with someone. Please comment any fun ideas you have! Until next time.

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Thank you for reading!

-Katie

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