Marriage Advice From The Unmarried

 Yeah... I'm not married, but that doesn't mean I can't share a thing or two that I know about marriage, right? Some of you may think of marriage as something disposable or as something you never see yourself getting into. On the other end of the spectrum, you may believe or know with your entire being that marriage is an eternal commitment and pursuit. I personally believe that marriage is eternal. Someday I will be sealed to a young man for the rest of eternity.

But enough about me--moving on. What makes a marriage a good marriage? How are you going to make eternity with one person tolerable? Here are some of the basics: communication, trust, honesty, and commitment. I would be lying to you if I said those values weren't essential. Do not underestimate their importance.

Communication includes everyday conversations, conflict resolution, and setting boundaries. Communication isn't just talking to someone; it's conveying your feelings, needs, and wants to someone through speech--both verbal and nonverbal--their interpretation of what you shared, and them speaking back to you. Conflict resolution is calmly expressing your unmet needs and frustrations in a manner that isn't hostile, as well as openly listening to your partner's frustrations. Setting boundaries is crucial. Some examples are limits on being alone with someone of the opposite sex, as well as money management.

Trust. What is a relationship without trust? It helps form the foundation on which a marriage is built on. Trust and honesty go hand in hand. Trust is an undoubting faith in the truthfulness of words spoken by someone else. And to be honest is to be free of falsity and to be completely sincere. Without both trust and honesty, the foundation might as well crumble.

I think that commitment is fairly self-explanatory. Oxford Languages defines commitment as "the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc." But it also defines it as this: "an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action." I don't know if I agree with that definition in terms of marriage. Commitment to an eternal partner/significant other doesn't have to restrict freedom. Why would or should it? Of course, once you are married, you shouldn't keep seeing other people in a romantic setting. If you feel as though your marriage is restricting your freedom, I suggest having a conversation with your husband or wife.

But how do you keep the flame of passion alive for eternity? Eternity is an incomprehensibly long and ever-extending amount of time. One simple thing that can be done is participating in marriage rituals. I'm assuming most of you, if not all of you, have never heard of those before. Marriage rituals are significant events that have a designated time and both spouses are committed to participating in them. An example is saying "I love you" whenever you wake up, go to bed, or part ways throughout the day. Another example is taking a stroll through the park and eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches every Sunday afternoon. But please, don't confuse rituals with a routine. Rituals are meant to strengthen a relationship, and both spouses understand its importance. Marriage rituals have been proven to lengthen the mortality of marriages. What you choose to make your ritual is up to you and your spouse, but make sure to make it something meaningful and something you both will enjoy and dedicate yourselves to.

A lot of this is easier said than done. I'm not even married and I believe this. In my personal life, I've seen this with just about everything. I plan to commit myself to something, find out how hard it actually is, and then things just kind of fall apart from there. I'm striving to be better every single day, and I know all of you can do it, too!

What marriage advice do you have? Married or not married, advice is advice. If you have anything you would like to share, please leave a positive comment.

-

Thank you for reading!

-Katie

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Let the World Tell You That Dads Aren't Important

 Father. Dad. Pops. Papa. Old man. Pa. Daddy. Paternal figure. Call them what you may, but today, we are talking about fathers in the home. I've noticed lately, and I'm sure you have to, that society has begun to talk about how unnecessary men are in a family. There's a quote that says something along the lines of: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." And, not to mention, there is a study to see if a woman can create her very own sperm from her bone marrow, and therefore inseminate her own eggs--thus, getting pregnant all without the help of a man. If this can be done, men are no longer needed, right? Women can reproduce all on their own... Interesting. Personally, I find it borderline crazy that people can think so lowly of a male leader in a home; and maybe not just lowly, think of them as downright useless. Honestly, I cannot imagine what my life would be like without my dad. My father is everything to me. He has taught me many valuable life lesso...
Read more

Can Affairs Actually Be Prevented?

Affairs--the elephant in the metaphorical room of relationships, particularly marriage. An affair is defined as "a sexual relationship between two people, one or both of whom are married to someone else" (Oxford Languages). One does not accidentally find themselves stuck in one; they're sought after. Why would someone participate in an affair, knowing they are risking the most important commitment, sacred covenant, and eternal partnership that they dedicated themselves to, as well as breaking one of the most important commandments given by God? (God gave man ten commandments. The seventh out of those ten is to not commit adultery.) People have affairs when they feel as though their spouse is not fulfilling their needs and wants, whether those have to do with emotional or physical intimacy. Rather than choosing to be patient and work things out, they turn to an adulterous decision. According to research, forty percent of unmarried relationships and twenty-five percent of m...
Read more

Family: An Individual Culture

 Each family has a different culture. You know I like definitions, so we're going to go ahead and define culture. Culture: "the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively," or, "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." In terms of biology, a culture is "the cultivation of bacteria, tissue cells, etc. in an artificial medium containing nutrients" (Oxford Languages). As you can probably guess, family culture isn't anything like one in biology--at least I hope not. The culture of a family is very similar to or practically the same as the second definition I shared. "The customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." When you first think about it, you may wonder how a single family can have all of that. But yes, a family does have all of that--unique customs and social...
Read more