A Family Is Still a Family

 There are many types of families: nuclear, single parent, childless, and blended--to name a few. I'm sure many of you reading this fall into a category other than nuclear, and we all fall into at least one. Personally, I belong to a nuclear family. Even though I don't currently live with my parents, I still have my mother, father, two younger sisters, and little brother. I have relatives that cohabit, are single parents, are childless, and have blended families. No family is perfect, even if they appear to be so. A family composed of a mother and three children may be better off than a household with two parents and three kids.

Yes, the traditional family is composed of two parents--a mother and father--and then children, and it has been proven that, on average, children in those types of households fare better in school and stay out of trouble. However, I still want to instill the idea that all types of families are valid no matter what.

Now, I would like to share a few quotes from Bethany Fischer's "Types of Families: All Families Are Valid."

"My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. My mom made this decision based on what was best for my sister and me. This happened at the turn of the millennia. While divorce was less taboo at this time than it had ever been, we had a hard time escaping from other people’s judgments. She was told she was a bad mom by friends and family members. Our church asked us to leave the congregation after she reached out for support. My elementary school denied me entry to an advanced program because “kids from broken homes don’t do well in these programs.” 

"These people didn’t understand something that I had grown to learn: there are all kinds of different types of families. My family never looked like most of my friend’s families. I even had friends who were part of families that looked different from mine! Just because a family doesn’t look like the “typical American family” doesn’t mean they are not valid."

Fischer goes on to describe what family truly looks like.

"What is a family? Merriam-Webster’s first definition of family is “the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children.” This is probably what most people would think when they hear the word “family.” This image may include a mother and father, raising their children together under one roof. Each parent has an extended family. These people make up your grandparent, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many people can relate to this image of a family. However, this image can be difficult to identify with if you come from a nontraditional family. 

"What happens when someone comes from a single-parent household? How about people who don’t have blood relatives in their lives at all? Half of my family has been missing from my life for decades. Does this mean that we don’t have real families?

"Absolutely not!  I reject the concept of coming from a “broken home,” because my home is not broken! My experience has taught me that family is a subjective term. To me, a family is a group of people that love and guide you through life. So, my family looks like this: 

  • My mom, the head of the household. 
  • Her parents, who gave a lot of monetary and emotional support. 
  • My sister, who lived with me under my mom’s care.
  • My mom’s sister, and her family. 

"While this may not look like a traditional family, I consider myself lucky. Some people probably have fewer people that they consider family. Some people may have family that is not related to them by blood at all. These families also deserve to be acknowledged and supported."

Doesn't Fischer say that so beautifully? Her words are more impactful than mine could ever be. She came from what others called a "broken home," but she refused to accept that stereotype.

Please, I ask you to try to have a similar mindset as her and understand that a family is a family no matter what, and no matter how many people call it broken.

-

Thank you for reading!

-Katie

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